Infertility, not winter... the season of my discontent

Cold fingers, sharp intake of breath.
Ahhh, my favorite season is here.
Do I love winter best of all- yes.

I love the warmth of inside.

I love walking outside, all bundled up as I don’t actually like to be cold, so I have the best gear ever to stay warm when it’s cold outside. My coat goes on like a blanket and I can relate to the horses in their coats, romping around in snow covered fields, happy and playful.

Summer makes me heavy, a little dull and slow, definitely slow.

Winter is my talent, my strength.

We all have them- do you recognize yours?

Talent is what comes easily to you, naturally to you. It’s sometimes what you think “why can’t everyone just do this?”

Our Strengths

Winter is my strength.

Is it the hard stuff that I do easily, well? Like infertility.

I do infertility well. I love talking about it. I love listening. I love offering support.

I am an infertility cheerleader. And I do it well.

It’s not always the happiest subject. More frequently, it’s about pain that is vast. Often there are heartbreaking conversations, deeply disappointing outcomes, frustrating prognoses. Words fail when it comes to describing the elemental nature of trying to conceive and failing.

Bone marrow sorrow.

Life defying loss of hope.

They come close, I guess.

No silver lining here.

And, not but, and, as with winter- then there is the sun shining through the naked tree branches, sparkling on the ice, the snow, the bare pavement, the bare ground, There is the color of the sky that shimmers and dances in the freezing air in a way that it can never do during the warm, heavy summer days.

Winter and Infertility

That’s the season of my content.

That’s how I see the season of babies being conceived, carried safely, born and cherished. I see it as the winter season because of how committed I am to holding the cold closely.

It’s how deeply I hold every woman I’ve ever listened to through the season of her discontent. And how I feel her echoes reverberating within me forever more.

I’m holding you until there’s someone for you to hold in your arms.